Joshua Collins questions labels and ponders the lives of the sexually fluid
The concept of “sexual fluidity” isn’t new by any means, but it has been brought out of the shadows with the recent movements surrounding gender and sexuality within society. In essence, the debate in sexuality all falls down to whether sexual orientation is fixed or whether it can change and move throughout our lives. I am a firm believer that sexuality isn’t a choice but rather some people do not fit into societal binary code. Personally, I find that while on the one hand it’s quite liberating to have such a vast sexual pallet, on the other hand it can be like being imprisoned in a cell of uncertainty and doubt.
There’s nothing simple about gender or sexuality. While many people will paint the two in black and white, it’s a kaleidoscope of colour and complexity. I envy those who were born with a sure identity; people who can gaze into the universe and find themselves and exactly what it means to be an individual. There are, however, others like myself who aren’t as fortunate. A group of wandering souls riding the open roads of life, desperately trying to find home within themselves.
Unfortunately, Apple hasn’t invented an app that sends you notifications every morning telling you what identity you’re going to be wearing today. All I want is some higher power like Steve Jobs to tell me whether I’m going to be straight, gay, bisexual or transgender for the rest of the week so I can work my sexuality around my calendar. Of course, I can only speak from a personal insight but it’s almost like having multiple personality disorder when it comes to sex.
I like sex of course who doesn’t? The problem with sexual fluidity is that the menu is one hundred times the size of your average cisgender heterosexual and so it’s more complicated. Ever click the horror section on Netflix and instead of settling on a movie you spend hours scrolling through endless amounts of slashers and possession flicks until you just end up falling asleep? Well, it’s that kind of frustration that comes hand-in-hand with sexuality for me.
It’s 2015 and people are so insecure that we find the need to label everything, in particular gender and sexuality. How long will it take us to evolve as a race until we can take someone like Caitlyn Jenner for who she is? If she says she identifies as a female, can’t we just embrace and celebrate that? In an ideal world there would be no such thing as straight or gay and the only label with any importance would be “human.” Don’t take my word for it though, who the Hell am I?
A-Listers like Miley Cyrus and Kristen Stewart also identify as sexually fluid, which would excuse Bella’s less than impressive acting in Twilight; maybe she was like me and just wasn’t really that into Edward that day. Jokes aside, Miley did have some pretty insightful things to say about sexual fluidity. Stating in Paper Magazine that she doesn’t “relate to being boy or girl, and I don’t have to have my partner relate to boy or girl.”
In my experiences, dating is a no-go. Well, it’s not like anyone in Ireland goes on dates anyway, it’s more of a “wanna meet up” or if you’re lucky enough to find some deviant who proposes the dreaded “Netflix and chill?” All of which we can do without.
There’s no guidebook to self-discovering and while it can be a lonely journey there is so much to gain from sexual exploration no matter what you identify as. If you just open your eyes and your mind you would see that there is a revolution going on and the world as we know it could be on the brink of change. It’s hard not to long for a utopia, a world of unconditional love and acceptance. Could it be on the horizon or is this just the dream of a wanderer?